Bitter Black Woman (Excerpt)

Black women have always been a muse. Being used and abused to soothe the men who had the nerve to think we were here to serve. Since our curves were seen as hors d’oeuvres, auctioneers dragged by us the collar so the white man could purchase us for pennies on the dollar. Constantly placed on a pedestal, only to be seen as a spectacle and chosen one by one by the white man’s testicles. Ironic, because the only genitals that were exposed were the ones who chose…Slavery.

Naked

Can you be so kind as to strip my mind. Slip the panties off my temples and make love to my mental. Dip your fingers between my thoughts, having me reach the peak I always sought. Baby, I stand before you Naked. And I promise, I can take it. 

The Color Purple

In the Moonlight,

Black Boys Look Blue 

A Menace to Society

With splattered blood

As their sense of sobriety 

Never raised to 

Do The Right Thing 

Because they always 

Seem to cling 

To the barrel and the bullets 

That only seem to bring 

Death to the innocent  

So I Know Why

The Caged Bird Sings

New Jack 

Showed your City 

Wouldn’t be 

A brother’s keeper 

Guess that meant, 

Ten feet under 

Was their way of getting deeper

For them, 

Life’s chess, not checkers 

…Training Day

It’s not what they know,

It’s what they can prove 

‘least, that’s what the cops say

You have Boyz In The Hood 

Praying to reach 25

Yet, you’re telling them 

You’re protecting their black lives

Seemingly awarded 

Poetic Justice 

Or the right to remain silent 

But nowadays both actions 

End extremely violent

Now mothers are at home 

Waiting To Exhale 

Because their babies 

Are in jail

Instead of trying to excel

They’re praying to post bail

So tell me, 

Has the institution 

Of black boys failed 

…Is it safe to conclude 

Society’s crude

Will constantly and consistently 

See our black boys as rude  

Coming to America 

Wasn’t a comedy 

It was a fruitful, capitalistic trade

That still ends in casualty 

Killing black men for sport

Seems like normality 

…In the Moonlight

Black Boys Look Blue

….Or was it The Color Purple

Robbery

I wish I could leave

My insecurities behind bars.

And lock them up

For the thieves that they are.

Sublease

Don’t allow your insecurities

You sublet your mindset

They’re only living there

To reject every preset

That positively effects

Your mindset

Reflection

When you receive rejection after rejection, You deceive your mind into thinking, with time, you’d find your cure. Shattered dreams led to bleaching creams. Play dress up and apply makeup to cover up, imperfections. With these, I led myself to believe I could achieve, perfection. Gluten free, gym, sleep, barely eat, repeat. Binge much, skip lunch. Beauty marks, too dark, stretch marks. Acne prone, skin and bones and every other insecurity known to man.  But fuck it, fuck that. Fuck what they think because within a blink of an eye, you can say goodbye to superficiality. ‘Cause reality is, it’s only about how you perceive yourself. So look in the mirror and love what you see and say there’s nothing more beautiful than being me.

Birthing Brown Boys (Excerpt)

Who Lied & Said You Weren’t Beautiful

Who lied and said you weren’t beautiful… Who lied and called you out of your name?Said, at best, you were plain? Tried to knock you off your throne so you couldn’t reign? Tried to distinguish your beauty like an old flame? Accused you of being insecure, yet, they were to blame? Petted your tears as if they could be tamed? Accented your imperfections because they were so vain?  Witnessed your hurt, because, like you, they’re one in the same…So baby, tell me,  who lied and said you weren’t beautiful?

Joy

Surely,

As the sun rises,

Your joy will too

Loneliness

Loneliness

Was a great lover.

He always met me

Under the covers

And screwed me

Like no other.

Validation

Girls tend to lend 

Their bodies to men 

Hoping it would end 

Their search for love

Not realizing they needed to mend 

The issues they couldn’t comprehend 

Like seeing their beauty from within

Girls tend to lend 

Their bodies to men

Only to learn

They wouldn’t receive 

Love in return

Sleeping with different faces 

To seek validation

In all the wrong places 

Not realizing their true frustration 

Was needing a male’s validation 

Rather than seeking 

A mental transformation 

Girls tend to lend 

Their bodies to men

When they could truly fend 

Without them 

Growing up

We were barely seen 

On the TV screens

Or occupied roles

That could mold 

Us into strong black women

So many hours were lost 

Because being beautiful cost

Us our integrity 

It cost us our ability 

To differentiate love 

From liability 

We needed women who looked like us

So we didn’t have to discuss 

Bleaching creams 

And what it means

To be beautiful 

It wasn’t fair 

Our natural hair 

Couldn’t be paraded

Instead, it was persuaded

As the unattractive face

Of our race

So we walked around in box braids

And crushed on dudes with high top fades 

Forgetting Justice gave

Us the poetic freedom to pave

We watched our bodies mold

Sadly, only to be told 

Our hips

Were our greatest gifts

That’s why it seemed

Some men only dreamed

Of dating women of lighter skin

It’s as if they could only tend 

To our skin if we were kin 

I called it the Miseducation of Black Men 

Dark skinned girls were a gift

So in order to change reality

We needed to shift our mentalities 

We needed to scream loud and proud

That we bow and vow

To be loving and loyal to our race

We needed beautiful to be a dark skinned face

This is for Little Black Girls

Who were told they weren’t beautiful 

For I Have Sinned

Submerged under a pool of tears,

It’s exactly what I’ve feared.

I took the captain’s seat 

And it led me 

To the ultimate defeat.

 Crushed beneath the anchor,

I can only look to The Maker 

To propel me back above water.

 I’m sorry, Father,

For I have sinned. 

Imposter

I fostered an imposter

She invaded my space and created a race 

That was impossible to face 

She erased 

My former mentality

And based

My new reality 

On the girls I saw on pop culture memes

Beauty magazines and tv screens 

Who always seem

To have the means 

To transform into a 

“So-called,” beautiful being

The imposter

Had so many women on her roster

Dr. Frankenstein 

Wined and dined so well, 

She created a monster 

She made me wear makeup 

Made me play dress up

And did everything she could 

To cover up 

The me that didn’t measure up

To society’s expectations 

And my biggest frustration 

Was not realizing 

I was already a sensation 

My imposter had some nerve 

She even gave girls 

The unfortunate urge to purge

Their food 

So they could slim or maintain their curves 

I fostered an imposter

But today she noticed her eviction 

It was the same day I looked in the mirror

And saw my true beauty with conviction 

Testimony

When depression slipped 

In between my thighs

I thought our love was magnified

Instead, I cried

And he justified his satisfy

With this reply,

“Let’s do this again

When you’re more dignified”

He left me on the bed, crucified

Bound at the limbs, 

With the devil’s hymns

Serenading my sins

There was nothing 

I could do

But tend

To the pain that was slain

Yet, Cain was Abel,

So I laid my transgressions

At the table

I would longer label

Myself as an insecure woman

Who was unstable

A part of me died

But that was needed to survive

In order to become the woman

Who could thrive